Yellow In A White Man's World

An Asian man's quest to find his perfect girl in Melbourne

How international Students are ruining the Australian Tertiary education system

One of my greatest frustrations with living in Melbourne is the assumption that I am an international student.

The reason it frustrates me so much extends beyond being judged.

It is the Australian government’s utter lack of population control and corporate greed which have allowed an unacceptable number of international students from China into Australia which infuriates me.

The consequential effects which outrage me the most is the verification of Asian stereotypes, and more importantly, a steep decline in the quality of our Tertiary institutions as of late.

Having studied at various Universities already, I have not witnessed anywhere near the amount of Asian international students that I see everyday at my current campus and in my classes.

Ten years ago, I would estimate that international students would have accounted for roughly 10-15% of students at the campus I am currently studying at.

Nowadays, I estimate they account for over 40-60% of students studying on campus.

How do I know they’re international students?

1. They only speak in their own language.

2. They only hang around with other people of their ethnic identity.

3. They have extremely poor English skills.

Whilst I could take the easy jab here and exert my frustrations at international students, I am largely aware of why they meet those three aforementioned points. Instead, I take aim at Australia’s Tertiary education system which is the reason why they face the discrimination I face every day.

Over the past few years, Australian Universities have started to adopt the American style University system where institutions are used as money makers rather than their actual purpose of educating and enriching the minds of students.

Local students are no good to Universities because they cannot make any money from us. We put our entire degree on HECS loans and take our time to pay it back. We are essentially getting a $30,000 tax free loan with no fixed payment plan. It is unbelievably good for local students.

International students however, do not have access to these HECS loans and therefore they are studying in Australia as full-fee paying students who must pay their fees upfront. If they do not pay for their studies within the first few weeks of the semester, they are kicked out and their studies are revoked.

The amplitude of difference in responsibilities is unfathomable.

A local student fails a unit? No big deal – we’ll just charge it to HECS again next semester.
An international student fails a unit? Well, that will be another $8000, thanks.

For anyone who has ever questioned why international students study like robots, I hope that answers your question.

Back to the University system.

By dramatically increasing the amount of places available to international students, Universities are  increasing their revenue not only from being paid upfront, but because international students pay more than double to study a unit than a local student studying the exact same unit.

It is exactly what has been going on in the United States with Universities charging different fees for students studying in their State of residence compared to those outside.

As a result of this corporate greed, you’d expect the Universities to improve the quality of their education but the exact opposite is happening.

In one of my classes where 80% of the students are international students, the subject has been specifically catered for them. In doing so, theoretical concepts have been dumbed down to low quality English and the lecturer deliberately speaks slowly so that the majority of students can understand him. Sitting there, I feel it is extremely condescending and a waste of time when a 90 minute lecture is drawn out to 2 hours so that the lecturer can speak slowly in a near baby-like tone.

It was not until I did a group assignment with three international students that I learned just how dumbed-down the course had been. For post-graduate students to never have heard of  theories taught at undergraduate level is simply unacceptable. While again I could blame the students and their ignorance, my scope is fixed firmly on the institution which put it’s greed ahead of the international student or their peers’ well-being and education quality.

Due to the increase in international students in Melbourne, it has gotten to the point where the majority of young Chinese international students outweigh the number of young localised Chinese people.

Because of this, racism and the stereotyping of Chinese people is almost a paradox.

Chinese international students feel discriminated against in Melbourne, lack confidence in their English skills and as a result stick with people of their own ethnic identity where they do not need to use English nor fear being discriminated against.

As a result, there is a lack of integration with local people who only strengthen their stereotypical ideas of Chinese people.

This is why it frustrates me so much when others assume I am an international student at first glance.

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Chinese Stereotypes

I Married an Asian Now What?

I wanted to take some time today to assess the stereotypes of Chinese people. I have heard and found many in the 6 months being married to Lee. And I am sure there are more that I will encounter in further time. Here are just a handful that I found in a couple minutes at Yahoo answers:

1: Chinese only eat plain white rice, cats, and dogs.

2: Chinese are robots programmed to study and work day and night / Chinese people are all good at math

3: Chinese people don’t spend money.

4: Chinese people are obsessed with being skinny.

5: Chinese people suck up to Americans

6: Chinese men are controlling and violent

7: All of them can fight / they all know Kung-Fu

8: Chinese people are polite

9: Chinese people have a hard time finding dates.

10: Chinese people have squinty eyes because they smoke too much

11: All…

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Is it vain to want beautiful children?

I’m still probably a few years off from putting any genuine consideration into children but I know in my heart that my greatest contribution to society will be as a father.

Coming from a Chinese background with such striking family values, I’ve grown up and witnessed the amount of effort my parents have put into their lives to ensure mine would more prosperous than theirs.

Unfortunately for our family, we were hit extremely hard by the Global Financial Crisis and our world quickly spun out of control and things have been very bad since. I come from a working class family so when things were going well, our family was on top of the world despite both my parents working full time jobs.

Beyond my infant years, I never really spent much time with my father because he was always working and finding new ways to make sure I would never have to work as hard as he did.

It’s not something I want my children to have to go through.

In searching for a partner, the desire to have children is an unshakable must. I wish I could be less selective but I feel a desire to right all the wrong my parents made when they raised me. My mother has expressed her desire to do the same when I gift her with grandchildren and I feel obliged to give her that opportunity.

In order to have children however, I must find a the right partner but in doing so comes the issue of ‘counting your chickens before they hatch’, literally.

As Hollywood consistently projects the notions of an easier life for attractive people, I can’t help but believe it. I think back to all those times I have struck up a conversation with a girl at the bar, bought her a drink and then been brushed aside and its because she’s attractive!

With the desire to become a father one day, I feel it is my duty to make sure my children enjoy their lives to the fullest and believe the more attractive the are, the easier this will be.

However, this is most likely a double-edged sword because there seems to be much more drama involved in the lives of the beautiful.

One of the reasons I am attracted to Caucasian women must be genetically motivated.

Half-asians are a stunning mix of genes.

With my genetic background mixed with the grace of a Caucasian woman I am confident that my children are going to be absolutely gorgeous. They’ll also have a fantastic mother who spoil them with all the love in the world.

Is it irresponsible to be placing expectations on my children years before they are even conceived or have a mother?

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And Enter My Hong Kong Boyfriend

Nawww… Good on you guys. You’ll love Hong Kong!

Hong Kong Kisses

apparently things happen quickly when you least expect it!

I met a guy recently and it moved rather quickly into Boyfriend / Girlfriend territory.

We are seemingly inseparable, share a lot of the same views and wishes in life, a little silly and both completely crazy about how quickly we have fallen for each other.

Someone pinch me ?!!

Which could only mean one thing. When I found out hes going on vacation alone to visit friends and family for 6 weeks in January (so longggggg nooooo)  and asked if I wanted to come, I  threw all levelheadedness away and said yes.  Which also means way less time away from him! 22 days of him gone in Europe alone without me is more than enough!!!

I will thankfully be meeting up with him on the 23rd day in Paris and then flying out to HK with him on the 27th.  Returning…

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The Lindsey Lohan effect: Are Asian women easier to court?

We’re not saying Asian women are ‘easy’ but the stark contrast between AMWF (Asian male, White female) relationships is damningly polar to the amount of WMAF relationships.

There has been a dramatic increase in interracial relationships in Australia but seldom do they involve and Asian man.

Asian women are continually courted by white men in Australia yet seldom will a white women chase an Asian man.

One of the most attractive element of Asian women to younger men is their relative ease of courtship.

Asian women are much less maintenance than white women because they come from a culture where they have the right to make familial decisions. In many Chinese cultures, women have control over family finances which is why a higher level of independence can be found within them. A man is still the household breadwinner but once that bread comes into the house, it is the women who dictates who will eat.

Independence amongst white women tends to be on the lower end of the spectrum, at least for the majority until they reach their mid-20s. Growing up with American television, they are needy, superficial, materialistic and self-conscious.

Keep in mind however, all this is relative to other cultures.

On top of all this, Asian women are much easier for white men to court because Asian women have already crossed the line of interracial relationship acceptance.

Where racist Australians condemn cultural differences, people of Asian descent embrace it.

The expectations of gender roles also has a large say in how relationships are formed. Because society tells us it is up to the man to court a women, the lofty expectations of Australian women (which is why there are single!) is intimidating, unappreciative and can easily be misconstrued as pompous. Let’s call this the Lindsey Lohan effect.

Asian cultures however teach us to focus on the positives in a situation rather than the negatives. Where a man approaches an women in a bar, the Asian women naturally thinks along the lines of, “Oh great, a man is talking to me :)”

The Lindsey Lohan effect however leads white women to adapt the “Oh great, an ugly man is talking to me :(“.

They’re very different perspectives and one starts with a very negative impression. While we must accept society’s gender roles considering the Western culture that we live in, the above example shows the uphill battle a man faces when meeting Australian women.

When they compare that to the naturally accepting culture of Asian women, its understandable to see why White men can lose faith in women of their own ethnicity.

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Will you regret being superficial during your youthful days?

A large chunk of the women I have been interacting with over the past year are in the situation where they are either about to complete their degrees or have done so in the past year. They go out, drink, flirt and look for Mr Right.

Unfortunately, no matter how witty, intelligent, ambitious and confident Mr Right is – he isn’t Chinese.

I can then only sit back in isolation, listening and reading about all the women out there who complain about not being able to find descent men in our beautiful city. And then there are the ones who complain to all their friends on social media about being treated like crap by their exes.

With all that we hear about abusive relationships, I can’t help but wonder how sadistic women must be not only to tolerate them, but to go back! Especially when there are so many descent guys out there when superficial priorities are discarded.

To all those single professional women out there who have come to the realisation that their biological clock is taking, do you regret being so superficial in your youthful days?

Mr Right may not be perfect, but no one is. Waiting for him to come sweep you off your feet and be everything Taylor Swift says he is won’t happen if that’s all you are interested in.

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When Asian men are seen as ‘undateable’

After years of playing the dating game around Melbourne and with very few friends in the same situation as me, I have finally turned to the internet to vent my frustrations and voice my thoughts about being an Asian man looking for his perfect white girl.

It’s been a long journey and one I refuse to give up on.

I have no idea where this blog will go.

I’m a hopeless romantic and know that I will eventually find that girl.

Besides the frustrations of seeking an AMWF interracial relationship, I’ll be posting about all things relationship related from my ideal dates to everything I find beautiful about Australian women.

The main catalyst which prompted me to create this blog was an article in yesterday’s edition of The Age by Beverly Parungao which I wholly related with.

When Asian men are seen as ‘undateable’
December 9, 2013
Beverly Parungao

In the post-apocalyptic TV series, The Walking Dead, Maggie a Southern belle, with an equally Southern drawl, falls in love with Glenn, a Korean-American. It’s a pairing we don’t often see on our television screens. Even Glenn himself, has trouble accepting Maggie’s initial advances. “She doesn’t mean it. I mean, she can’t…” he explains. But when the world turns topsy-turvy, and you’re one of the last men standing, anything is possible, right?

Whether in fiction or in real life, Asian men, unlike their female counterparts, seem to have it tough when it comes to dating people outside of their race.

“Are You Interested”, an American online dating website, recently surveyed over 2.4 million interactions on the site, and found Asian female users were in high demand. They were more likely to get messages from a man of any race unless those men were Asian.

The not so scientific affliction, “yellow fever”, a rather racist term that typically describes a preference for dating Asian women,  is not a new phenomenon. In multicultural Australia it’s quite common to see Asian women partnered with non-Asian men, but rarely the other way around.

A report on intermarriage in Australia conducted by Monash University using data from the 2006 Census confirms this trend. Its authors found higher rates of intermarriage for women than men in all of the East Asian and South-east Asian birthplace groups.

While Asian women are increasingly courted, their male counterparts seem to be shunned. In a 2007 study conducted by Columbia University, researchers surveyed more than 400 students during speed dating sessions. They found African-American women and white women said “yes” 65 per cent less often to the prospect of dating Asian men after the speed dating session, in comparison to men of their own race.

Dr Janet Hall, Clinical Psychologist, says these superficial stereotypes are reinforced in popular culture. According to Hall, these representations can impact women’s dating preferences. “Asian men are often depicted as geeky nerds with high intelligence but low charisma.

According to PolicyMic writer Justin Chan, the constant stereotyping of Asian-Americans in the media, conditioned his initial interactions with non-Asian women. It became a source of anxiety. “What if they thought I was a nerd with poor social skills? What if they rejected me?” he wrote.

“Asian-American men approaching non-Asian women often either feel an unnecessary burden to prove themselves against Asian stereotypes or keep to themselves in fear of rejection.

Asian actors continue to be typecast in restrictive stock roles, from nerds, to evil villains, and martial artists. Rarely are Asian male actors cast as leads in films, let alone as leads in romantic comedies. Instead, Hollywood film-makers often have a tendency to cast white, bankable actors in Asian roles. Think 21, Prince of Persia, and the Last Airbender.

Nicolas Cage, recently criticised the lack of Asian actors in lead roles, and welcomed change in the industry. “My son is Asian. He may want to direct one day; he may want to be an actor like his father – and I want that to be open to him,” Cage told Chinese state broadcaster CCTV in October.

The perception of all Asian men as effeminate and passive will continue to be propagated if the roles offered to Asian men are not diversified. It also precludes an understanding of heterogeneity within the Asian race, and discounts the potential positive benefits dating an Asian man can bring to a relationship.

But breaking stereotypes is also about challenging our own cultural perceptions. Senthorun Raj, a researcher at the Sydney Law School says, “Our desires are racialised as they are gendered, as they are subject to other cultural and social values.”

Raj says there’s a tendency to shy away from challenging our sexual preferences, proclivities and desires because it is often seen as an emotional rather than conscious part of our lives. He says, “I think the real kind of important thing for us to do as individuals is to confront racism as an intimate part of our lives. And that’s a really difficult word for people to hear because racism is often thought of as something intellectual, something that operates on a conscious level.”

Then perhaps an Asian man dating a non-Asian woman, won’t only seem more plausible in post-apocalyptic scenarios.

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